Apron on display.

Is it wrong to feel awkward and uncomfortable with people coming to visit me when I'm working? In the last couple years I've had a lot of people (many of whom I haven't seen or talked to in a long time) come in to "say hi" while I'm working. It's not like I can just drop everything and go chat for an hour... I'm at work. Maybe it's just the openness of my workplace, but let's face it, I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I'm a year out of college and still working in an apron job, and I'm not particularly fond of being put on display. I know I'm being overly sensitive about this and maybe even selfish, but can we just schedule a time to go have dinner so I can talk to you in a real setting? Why do you have to come in and watch me stand behind a counter in an apron? I don't want to miss out on seeing people or visiting with friends I haven't seen in a long time, but don't you have to work when you're at work too? *sigh*

It's not my fault...

that your CD drive isn't working (yeah, hitting it repeatedly is going to make it better and definitely not just break your entire computer!), that you didn't check what time you were supposed to start work today, that you woke up late and are going to be late, and that you asked me for a ride right before you were about to leave and when I hadn't even gotten out of my pj's. I already bailed you out once this week when you slept in, and you're not going to ruin my day off because you insist on staying up until 6am every night and never get enough sleep. I'm getting pretty sick of these little tantrums. Have a great day.

Issues with management.

Inhale...I don't know quite how to accurately depict how utterly irresponsible and childish my manager is. She's 31 years old, and can't seem to figure out that going out on the weekend and getting trashed on booze and pot often leads to injury--such as rolling your ankle and ending up on crutches (i.e. what she did this weekend). She makes almost 4k per month, and, let's be honest, works about 27-32 hours per week whereas I am in a constant struggle to get 34 hours a week and bring home about $1300 a month. How is this crap allowed to happen to decent people? It's not enough that I have a freaking college degree and am slinging coffee for douchbags all day, but to have to deal with an absolutely incompetent manager who has taken more time off for "injuries" (mostly caused by her own drunken stupor) than all the staff in the cafe combined in the past 2 years??? RIDICULOUS!!!! It would be great if I could come to work and feel like I have some measure of respect for my boss, but I feel totally comfortable saying that I have absolutely none. I have such distain for her at this point that there's very little chance of her gaining back any semblence of dignity in my eyes. She's a joke. No wonder the company has such problems--it's run by loose cannons, jerkwads, potheads, and overly-priviledged children--very few among them having worked in, or ever even set foot in a coffee shop. Also, my manager clearly plays favorites. Even though I have COMPLETELY open availability--meaning I can work any hours that the store is open, 7 days a week--I'm still scheduled with 34.5 hours every week. Keep in mind that 4/5 of these shifts are closing shifts, meaning I get shorted 2 hours every week because IT DOESN'T TAKE AN HOUR TO CLOSE THE STORE. IT TAKES THIRTY MINUTES. But that's fine, because now, another "shift supervisor" (quotes around that title because although he makes the same amount of money as I do, he has ABSOLUTELY NO SHIFT LEAD RESPONSIBILITIES) is going to be getting to start an hour earlier since sales have been up. Keep in mind that this person is only available 8am-4pm Monday thru Friday. WHAT THE HELL? Oh wait, I know the reason why he's getting close to, if not more hours than me with less availability--it's because you two are stoner buddies, and are besties that hang out on weekends. BULL! Also, this "shift supervisor" is pulling at my last nerve, constantly bitching about how hard it is for him to work in the morning with certain other people, and how he "works his butt off," and how he "hates the company," and how he's "Mr. Nobility" about everything when he DOESN'T DO SHIT except talk smack about everyone and sit and read the newspaper for 3 hours of his shift. UGH! SO MUCH RAGE! Before the week is out, I'll have worked for 10 DAYS STRAIGHT without a day off. Both the "shift supervisor" and my manager had the weekend off, and my manager has been out because of her ankle for the last 3 days. I am just a hair's breadth away from quitting, just to see how this place would get along without me. Exhale...

I am going to start doing fun things too.

Lately I've been getting kind of nostalgic for things that I used to love doing when I was little. Such as watching several Disney movies in a row and playing battle mode Mario Kart with my brother until the wee hours of the morning. Being constantly immersed in a fog of uncertainty and stress as to where I'm going and what my next step in life will be, I think I've actually forgotten to have fun. All I think about nowadays is how bored I am with my job and about how I don't know which path to follow. I'm not saying I'm going to lose sight of any ambition, but I need to get back some of those fun hobbies I once had. I want to PLAY! Earlier today I drew for a while and later I played video games. Admittedly, the drawing was a practice run for the board I'm going to be doing at work, but it was still fun and challenging. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to go back to graduate school, probably for a degree in teaching English. But I already missed the deadline to apply for this year, so even if I apply next year, I might not even get in until a couple years from now. Not to mention the dreaded GRE. I hate standardized testing. And part of the gradutae school application requirements say that you have to put in a 15-20 page paper that you wrote as an undergraduate. I only wrote one paper that was even close to that long and I really hated it. SEE?? I'm doing it again. I need to invest in a new computer too. Maybe I'll be more motivated to write and stuff. I keep saying that my dream job is to be a freelance writer, but I have little or nothing off of which to base that claim. Actually, nothing comes to mind. I basically only have experience writing analytical essays. Anyway, I'm just saying that I need to throw in some fun for relaxation purposes. Yes, I need to move toward some tangible goal, but all this worrying as really been a burden. I want to be happy! And if diverting my attention from reality for a few hours a day will help me de-stress-ify a bit...I say, whhhhhhyyyyyy not?